im feeling shitty rite now. apparently im having a severe headache at e moment, mainly cos of e over consuming of alcohol last nite, thus now im suffering frm e hangover. its been ages since i last get drunk.. n well.. its quite hard for me to get drunk at times.. but obviously im always suffering frm hangovers.. n yes, tt totalli sarks big time.. my mind's in a whirl n its spinning non-stop, n tts killing me..

went powerhouse wif hua, huay n heng last nite.. din realli enjoy ourselves cos e music played last nite was totalli not our cue. n e place was so fully packed.. n hua kena "molested" by 1 auntie.. haha, tts funny yea? drank quite abit but still cant bring myself to feel high.. n mindyou, we queued for nearly half an hr for e freaking drinks.. tts like so sickening yea? but luckily for me, i din bump into e weird guy.. he scared e wits out of me during e previous clubbing session thr.. n hua was keep scaring me by telling me tt i will bump into him again..

received quite alot of sms n phone calls while im clubbing.. n gt a sms frm a msia no. n surprisingly, e guy turned out to b ah qi.. its like we haf lost contact for so long, n now he contacted me back out of e sudden.. i realli haf no idea wat hes trying to do or rather achieve? i tot hes already happily married to some woman? but yea, im not goin to gif a damn to him or whosoever.. haha..

made up my mind. apparently im sick of clubbing n going back to my old self. thus i guess i will stop clubbing for awhile n meanwhile i will be forcusing on my work.. ahhh.. im feeling terrible.. ciaos!

[im spinning round n round;]

-killingmesoftly-

well.. skipped work today since is SHIYING'S BIG DAY! haha.. well, her ceremony was at suntec e summit.. not a bad place.. gt a very grand view n scenery but e weather is damn hot i muz sae.. haha.. quite a few ppl were present.. got amy, mun, lynn n cuicui.. e rest are william's side of frenz.. shiying n william are so sweet lor! made me go green wif envy.. awww!! dunno when my day will come.. haha.. perharps it will nv come yea? anyway, chatted quite alot wif them.. found out tt nearly all of us are thinking bout marriage n stuffs like these.. haha, cannot blame us thou since we r all 20+ already.. but of cos i enjoyed myself to e bits today.. snapped quite a few fotos.. gonna upload them real soon yea?

n well.. reached hme, went on9 n saw some guy came to view my profile.. n he looks familiar.. went to check on his profile n found out tt hes one of william's frenz.. haha.. added each other on fs n msn.. well.. chatted quite alot wif him just now.. haha.. quite a funny guy i muz sae..

well.. guess tts all.. so sleepy at e moment.. ciaos ppl!

[ur image still stucked firmly in my mind;]

-istillloveyou-

am feeling so boring at e moment.. am just sitting here in daze dunno wat to do next.. today isnt a very gd day for me.. just feeling vexed n frustrated most of e times, oso dunno wats happening to me once again.. basically stayed at hme for e whole day, except mayb e fact tt i met up wif eric for an hr or two.. we went to tpy for e pasar malam once again.. its nuthing special since i already went wif hua, huay n heng ytd nite.. a very nice bag caught my eyes, n it costs ard 30 bucks, eric volunteered to buy for me, but i dunno y i rejected e offer. haha, kinda regretted now thou..anyway, we just walked ard aimlessly, ate quite alot of junk food.. n yes, i feel fat!!! but of cos, i enjoyed my times wif him.. he realli can cheer me up.. n yup, we walked hme after e pasar malam trip.. cant believe tt i actually suggested to walk hme since its real hot in e afternoon.. but yea, we chatted quite alot during e journey hme.. so its not a wasted trip i guess..

bumped into gary ytd nite while we were at tpy.. haha.. its like such a coincidence rite? i muz sae its quite a pleasant surprise to bump into her since i haber seen her for ages.. n hmm, dunno how to describe my feelings when i saw her.. she looks worn out n its quite obvious tt she has lost some weight.. anyway, we just sat at BK for some catching up n off we went to catch e last bus..

images of HIM flooded my whole mind once again.. our love, vividly appeared once again.. i just miss him; tons! thrs nuthing i can do only perharps sitting here, praying tt he will love me once again? wishing tt he will b rite here beside me, loving me? but of cos i noe its all wishful thinking of my part.. he will nv come back to my embrace anymore isnt it e case? so mayb i shall just wake up from my fairytale dream n move on yea? but its hard, so damn hard.. i just love him; to e bits...

[only drinking can numb my pain;]

-iheartyou, utterly-

haber been updating for days.. seems like i got tons of things to update, but am just too lazy to do so.. haha, am just so physically n emotionally drained.. sleeping becomes my fav past time.. i can slp whole day long when im not working.. am becoming such a piggy once again..

anyway, redyed my hair today.. a new colour represents a new beginning? mayb yea? haha, loven contacted me back ytd.. was like asking me whether im attached anot.. wat he takes me as? spare tyre? told me tt he has broken up wif his gf, wats e point of telling me tt? im seriously not interested to noe any of his stuffs.. n well, am chatting wif ace at e moment.. haha was pysco-ing him to b member of st james.. haha so tt i can haf free admission lor! but of cos, e membership is ex.. tts ard $200 + 1 free bottle.. haha.. am goin to powerhouse again on next wed.. since elson will b leaving us.. n hmmm.. just feel like going tts it..

am thinking of him once again.. its been days since he last contact me.. im so used to this, so why am i still feeling miserable at tis point? mayb my pain has accumlated itself.. all mounted rite here on my back, tts why i feel like breaking down.. seriously, i dunno whether i still love him anot.. sometimes e feeling is so strong, while sometimes is just vaguely thr.. ahh.. just in dilemma.. dunno wat to do at e moment.. ahhh, just not gonna think of it anymore..

[im so emotionally drained;]

-in dilemma-

yup, din update my blog for days.. n im finalli back.. so let me recall wat had happened for e past few days.. anyway, wed was fun.. went to st james powerhouse wif frens.. its fully packed since its ladies nite.. n well, tt was e 1st time i went to powerhouse, am attracted to it immediately.. i like e dancefloor, e atmosphere n etc.. but due to its over crowdedness, we went off in a short while, after tt went to serangoon to haf a drink or two.. din get to meet up wif ting n huay at tt nite, cos as im saying, is fully packed, is so damn hard to look for them.. but of cos, they did enjoy themselves too.. thurs and fri just passed as normal.. busy burying myself in e work.. stressing myself out.. just feel tt i will get insane any moment.. thus last nite went to powerhouse again.. met up wif hua, aaron, heng, estee, boon chuan, ting n her colleagues. reached thr at ard 11plus.. n its packed already.. well, but i enjoyed myself.. drinking and dancing thru out e nite.. *thumbs up* im totalli in love wif powerhouse! n yes! we bumped into sherlynn at powerhouse.. shes still as pretty as usual.. n yup, she made me gulp down a glass of chivas.. n last nite was damn happening, cant wait to go thr once again yea?

vincent told me tt he will b coming down to powerhouse last nite.. but yes, he disappointed me once again.. sad? nah.. im so damn used to it.. so familiar to tis feeling.. wat to do? hes such a busy man.. i longed to see him once again, but nvm, im still able to enjoy even without him by my side.. anyway, guess tts all, goin to haf a gd rest since tml is working day once again~ n yup! forgot to mention tt shiying is getting engaged end of this mth! awwwwww.. tts such a pleasant surprise yea? hehe.. CONGRATS SHIYING! may u n william lead a blissful life always! ciaos ppl~ :)

[you haf disappointed me once again;] -

im so in luv wif powerhouse-

hohoho, huay finally sent us e photos we took ages ago, thus decided to post them here. its realli my greatest honor to noe them all, they realli brightened up my dull working days. so here's a big THX for all my frens in IRAS; may our friendship lasts forever yea? im feeling happy at e moment. cos HE smsed me! even thou he din text me when hes on9 last nite, but he smsed me tis morn! there's no word to describe how i feel now. just extremely happy.. i noe im dumb, getting happy over e smallest thing. guess tts how amazing LOVE is, we will do anything for our loved ones willingly. n mayb tt shows i do love him quite a bit... i noe by saying all these will kena scolding from hua.. but i just dunwan to deceive myself anymore.. i tot i can just erase those memories n get him outta my life foreva. but of cos im wrong.. i will still think of him every now and then. after all those sadness he brought to me, i still cant bring myself to hate him.. mayb for once, i shall bring myself to face up e reality n accept e fact, i still love him; utterly.

[overwhelmed wif emotions..]

-loving you;-

lychee martini + heineken; good combination yea?

alrite, im back for my rantings once again.. im feeling very moody today, i dunno is whether of e monday blues or something else.. just feeling frustrated n vexed over all e stuffs.. had an awful day at work today, cant seem to get anything done correctly.. but thx to baba, i managed to screen finish e forms in 1 hr time.. but frankly speaking, im realli sick of tis job.. facing e same things everyday is realli killing me.. but no choice i guess, i think every1 feels e same way as me, but for e sake of money, of cos we muz stay put. but realli dun feel like goin to work tml.. ahhhh!

just feel like taking a sip of lychee martini n puff from e cigg.. just feel like relaxing myself.. as for e pic above, took tt when i went to e balcony wif eric. lychee martini is of cos mine, while heineken is his.. n well, am feeling real empty at e moment, n i seriously miss him utterly. keep waiting for his sms n calls like an idiot.. but of cos all my waitings are in vain.. mayb he has forgotten bout me once again.. or mayb he will only rem me when hes realli free n gt nuthing better to do..

oh well, just when im toking bout him, hes on9 at e next moment.. shld i just take initiative to msg him or wait for him once again? ahhh.. i realli haf no idea.. i just noe tt im going crazy soon, im sick; LOVESICK.

[how i wish i can go back to e past;]

-vince 'n' yingz-

[131oo6] vincent n me - sweet memories; unforgettable past. [131oo6]

he stood me up once again. cannot blame him thou, cos he din give me any confirmation at e 1st place. but cant help feeling abit upset, even thou im used to this disappointment. to b frank, im very much looking forward of seeing him again, cos its like we haber been contacting each other for 2 mths.. he claimed tt he had changed a new hp, lost all e contact no, thus cant contact me.. i dunno whether hes speaking e truth anot, cos it seems to me tt there's sum loopholes here n thr, but eventually, i chose to believe him.. but of cos, if he realli does love me, he will surely memorise my contact no by now. feeling pissed off wif myself, cos after half a yr, i still cant realli make him fall head over heels for me.. even thou hua claimed tt she can sense tt he realli loves me.. but i guess its just a tiny weeny bit.. and rite now, i cant expect anything from him anymore, cos there isnt any status between us.. we are just merely frens.. n tts it...

cos of tt stupid incident.. im feeling upset for e whole day.. depression strikes once again.. gonna isolate myself again i guess.. i dunno why after so long, i still can feel e misery building up inside of me.. mayb tt shows tt i realli love him.. i seriously tot tt time can numb my pain, but only up till now den i realised tt its all wishful thinking of my part. yes, i do noe tt work occupies most of his time.. n gym sessions are mostly for his free time.. i noe it right from e start.. cos he did warn me way before hand tt hes a very busy person.. i told him i dun mind den, n claimed tt i will b a very considerate n caring gf.. but of cos i failed totalli.. mayb due to my constant naggings n unhappiness, hes feeling discouraged too.. i wanted to be his gd gf, wanting to be thr whenever he needs me, cares n understands him.. but i cant help but feeling lonely when he doesnt haf enuff time for me.. so right now, shld i just wait for him or just continue wif my fucking messed up life? i seriously haf no idea..

tidied up my wardrobe just moments ago.. tried on a few outfits.. n am damn pissed to find out tt i haf gained weight once again.. awww, i worked so hard to lose those extra pounds, n now it just bounced back just like tt.. mayb its time for me to go back for my gym sessions once again.. or mayb i can just go wif him on every tues n thurs.. it can 1 way help me to lose weight n of cos gives me e opportunity to spend more quality time wif him..

well, guess tts all.. tml is working day once again.. ahhh.. just so sick of working!! n i seriously do miss him quite abit.. awwwwww.. i need luck, plenty of them...

[i am head over heels for u;]

-iloveyou, tons-

woohoo~ i am back! as usual its another busy day at work. just so freaking worn out.. e work items are causing me to go crazy, but no choice, im paid to do tt.. everyone in my grp were like so hardworking today, just keep doing non-stop.. haha, its such a rare scene yea? cos we usually like to have fun n slack ard.. n well, due to my stupidity, they are going to keep track of e net send thingy, tt means we cant send msgs to each other during work anymore. tts like so saddening.. cos tts like some sort our only entertainment during work, to help us destress alittle..

oh well, finally got my pay! even thou is like so little. but its better den nuthing rite? hees.. n ya, nafiz will b leaving us soon.. due to his ns enlistment.. so sad! =(( we gonna miss him yea? just had so much fun teasing him using e net send! hurhur..

n a miracle befall on me! haha.. am just so overjoyed when i received his msg! he texted me ard 12am plus in e morn, i just cant believe it.. i stared at e msg for 1 whole min, not knowing how to react.. just feeling e outburst e joy from me.. i was just telling hua tt i miss him alot, den he texted me on e same nite! he asked me for a meet up.. telling me hes very sorry cos due to his busy work schedule, he cant b committed to any r/s at tis very moment. i can understand, i noe hes trying all his ways to earn as much money as possible cos hes going to open his company in 1 yr's time.. i noe tts his dream, so of cos i wan him to fulfil it.. i will give him my moral support.. always!!

n to top off e day, today is marc's bdae.. so here goes...
[HAPPY BDAE TO U!
HAPPY BDAE TO U!
HAPPY BDAE TO MARC!
HAPPY BDAE TO U!]
happy 22nd.. may all ur wishes come true yea? =))

[my long wait has finalli being paid off...]

-YOU; my miracle-

decided to blog now, ya i noe is kinda early for my usual blogging.. but since theres nuthing left for me to do now, thus decided tt today will b an early entry..

finally started work items today. and yes, its realli very complicating.. just feeling so freaking stressed n pissed off wif myself when i cant handle my work well.. keep forcing myself to absorb wat jeffrey has taught us today.. but its like so damn hard.. my pathetic mind just cant intake any info anymore.. if not i will go insane!! was feeling so stressed at tt very moment, but luckily, thanx to elson's cigg, i am able to relax myself a tiny weeny bit..

received her sms while im busy slogging at work.. is like shes demanding an explanation from me.. she just phrased e msg in such a normal way.. claiming tt e HIM meant alot to me.. even thought is her "normal" msg, i cant help it but feeling a little bit of sarcasm there. was thinking that i never even demand any explanation frm her between she n tt gal.. so i dun owe anyone any explanation right? at that point matters turned grave, however, and a chain reaction of clanging alarms ringing in my ears.. thus i decided not to have any reaction.

memories of HIM flooded my mind once again; i can visualise tt image on my mind. that night, while hes right beside me, i lay awake and listened to his smooth breathing. my life felt absolutely pure. can it realli be tis easy? i wondered - u met someone, u fell in love.. like e fairytale? it seemed too lucky; and for that reason, or for some other reason, it provoked in me a tiny beat of disappointment. met him; fallen in love wif him; treating him as a part of me.. all these seem so well organised.. is like everything has already being planned before hand. tis is my fairytale.. or mayb i shld use "was". or mayb tis is not a fairytale cos break-ups wun occurred in fairytales. and after he left, i experienced a modified version of my prior despair. i missed him bitterly, but with each day e bitterness abated and another set of possibilities began to assert itself, like shifting my weight from one foot to another.

yes, only work can divert my attention now.. buried myself wif work whenever i start to think of him.. at least its working at e very moment, but of cos, im not that sure whether it still works in e near future.....

[justify my contradictory behaviour;]

-trust; faith n mutual understanding.-

wanxuan n me ^^v


people has been complaining how small my font is, how hard is for them to read my blog.. so here goes.. decided to change into a bigger size so tt people will stop complaining. =x

hurhur.. has been a fruitful day for me.. having tons of fun at work today.. baba realli brighten up my days wif her jokes n tt amused face of hers.. she nv once failed to crack me up. n yes, we completed our batches; FINALLI! tml will b starting on e work items.. well.. just hope i will catch e hold of it asap.. cos work items really do seem complicating.. n yes, 1 more day n is finally PAY DAY! cant wait for it to come~ goin to st james wif colleagues to slack n haf fun! im sure tt we will haf tons of fun tt day!

well.. im missing him badly as usual.. but i guess its all 1 sided love for me.. mayb he has already long forgotten me.. mayb i dun even exist in his life.. seriously i dunno why am i still holding onto e past.. i promised tt i will let go, isnt tt e case? but its realli so damn hard. n yup, HIS bdae is coming, realli dunno wat shld i get for him.. mayb he doesnt even nid my present as e some1 has already gave him some parcel.. ahhh.. realli clueless..

just dun wish to think anymore.. i just dunwan to be e fool anymore..

[encouragement does create wonders]

-oblivious to YOU;-

told elson i gonna post tis pic, so here goes. maple tree drawn by him. =))

well.. so wats wif me today? hmm.. as usual.. im "busy" slacking at work. hurhur.. but overall i enjoyed myself at work today.. celebrated rah's bdae.. n yes e cake is simply delicious! is finger lickin' gd! n guess wat we did at work? screening of forms again.. ya! tts so so sickening yea?

n siti (ter's current gf) went to cre8 a fs acc for her dog.. n added me inside e friend list.. apparently shes trying to tell me tt ter n her are very deeply in love now, n tt dog is somesort their baby? aww pls, im not at all interested in ter alrite.. me n him r history, why cant she get it clear? n shes a 24yr old grown up, yet she behaves like a child? shes realli pissing me off badly..

anyway, am feeling kinda moody at e moment.. cos i think of him once again.. actually i only realised it lately.. tt he nv once leave my heart.. hes always thr.. holding a special space in my heart.. ahhh, i realli will go insane at this rate. i just miss him, terribly.. alrite, guess i will go n slp now, as its e only way to stop myself from thinking of him...

[13.1o.o6; mend my heart n numb e pain.]

-finding my way out;-

dunno wtf had happened to blogger, i cant even see my entry properly.. actualli wanna blog at tis morn, yet turned out to b a disaster, thus i need to reblog now..

been days since i last blogged.. tml is working day once again.. well.. kinda numb to e work already.. haha, it has somehow become a routine for me. waking up early even on my off days.. tts such a surprise alrite? cos last time i used to laze on e bed whole day long.. anyway, my off days were so boring.. just laze ard in e hse.. doing nuthing.. ytd went out wif eric once again.. catch e movie "spiderman3".. not a bad movie i shld sae.. its worth watching.. n hmm today just stayed at hme n tidy up my room.. its much more tidier n spacious now.. mindyou, i spent e whole day just doing tt chore.. just freaking tiring.. but overall my efforts are being paid off..

went to see her blog once again.. i told myself to stop doing tt, but i just cant ctrl myself.. well, she din mention anything bout HIM. tts so surprising yea? n yes, he told me tt hes very sad, cos hes unable to take leave on his bdae.. hes disappointed.. well, consoled him n told him to celebrate his bdae ltr or advanced.. but he told me tt he dunno hw to stay happy.. theres nuthing i can do, except mayb hope tt he will enjoy it eventually..

well, guess tts all.. dunno wat else to add on. n i am seriously tired n sleepy.. nites ppl.. will b back for more updates thou. =))

[longing for your love;]

-e dumb girl;-

yawns.. im feeling so sleepy n restless for e past few days.. mindyou, i can slp for e whole day.. awww, dunno wats wif me.. but sleeping has certainly becomes my favourite past time..

anyway, work's been very slack lately.. ytd went for training at 830, n we can go hme at 11.. is like wth, it only lasted for 2.5 hrs.. tts like so pathetic lor.. as for today, went hme at 1pm.. only worked for 4.5hrs.. but we din realli WORK thr, we just sit thr, slacking n chit chat.. n tml no nid to work.. haha.. best ah.. im so darn broke already! n yah, found out tt elson (1 of my colleagues) was from wss too! haha.. e world is so small yea? hes frm e same batch as audrey n yingshi.. so i think he will noe yew too.. anyway, realli enjoyed myself at work lately.. cos is like we are having tons of fun.. n yes, we got quite close too..

today, just when im wondering why he so long nv contact me.. den he msged me e next moment.. haha.. mayb we haf telepathy? is nuthing much thou, just a greeting msg.. but frankly speaking, i do feel happy when i received his msgs; seriously.. i noe im being dumb thinking tis way.. but i just cant hide my happiness.. i noe its impossible between us, but... hais.. just dunno... tts typical life i guess.. e 1 u wanted to b wif can nv b wif u.. isnt tt e case?

well.. dunno wat else to add on.. just feeling sleepy once again... but nah! im not goin to slp early tonite since thrs no work tml.. haha.. guess tts all.. ciaos!!

[free me from all the misery;]

-leading my blissful life-

some of e pics we snapped ytd at workplace.. ^^

just reached home moments ago after a meet up session wif eric. yes, he just came back frm NZ.. n he certainly bought quite alot of presents for me! hehes!! so happy!! he brought me to Manhattan Fish Market for lunch just now.. yes, his treat of cos. n we did snap quite a few pics.. but i just cant seem to upload them.. dunno wats happening, so disappointing..

anyway, ytd was jimmy n sok ying's last day of work.. so during lunch time, went magic wok wif my grp members to haf lunch together.. is so called a farewell meal for jimmy.. n we snapped quite alot of pics! hahaha, just having so much fun taking pics together!! after work, went to town wif sok ying, ah huay, jieleng, wanxuan, n jinfeng.. went to eat pasta.. is like a final gathering for all of us.. well, took quite alot of pics once again.. after tt shopped ard far east.. n we saw weichong frm jue dui superstar n tons of ppl frm campus superstar.. i had tons of fun last nite.. its been so long since i felt so relaxed..

reached hme, realised he had msned me.. but too bad, im afk.. n by e time im back, hes long gone.. so din get to chat wif him.. tt shows we realli haf no fate yea? but everytime when im looking at e msgs, my mind went blank, willing myself not to think. but e memories began to return, unbidden, n there was nowhr to hide frm them, nowhr to escape to. It was ironic. The pain was deep and agonizing, n i knew it was a pain tt would b wif me for a long time. But i could bear it. I would haf to, but i just felt inordinately weary.

n after so long, i came to realise tt i realli miss tt particular person.. i realli dunno hw to erase e image outta me.. i seriously wanna noe hw much time more i nid to get e person out of my life; foreva.. oh pls.. i realli nid some guidance; utterly.

[can we just go back to wat we used to b?]

-idolurveyou; utterly-

Welcome to my blog, dear readers.
My name is Sherlyn Lee and I bite.
Please feel free to read about my life,
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Sherlyn Lee Lanying
o5.o2.85 *hints*
25 years old
❤ LaoGong Baby Johnny
Belongs to e "KLASHCS" group
Loves to club, drink n get high
Interested in tattoo arts, piercings n tarot cards





































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