Sunday, November 23, 2008
when i was young, i always picture myself wearing e wedding grown, holding hands with e one whom i love e most, and walking down e aisle. i always hope that i will have a fairytale wedding, marrying my prince charming, and having a happily ever after life after that.
and now i was grown up, i realised that things are not that simple after all. there are just too many things to consider about. and it's seriously hard to find someone whom u really love and loves u too.. and as e rate of e divorce cases increases rapidly, makes me really ponder, really wonder what's e purpose of getting hitched. but luckily this opinion of mine changed thoroughly after i met him - e most important guy in my life - mr lin xiong jie johnny.
he marks a great difference in my life, leaving a deep impact right here in my heart. he changed me, totally. i no longer flirt around since e very day i was attached to him. i no longer fool around or in other words, sleep around. i am just so content to have him right by my side. and he's e one i wanna be with, for e rest of my life.
and therefore, hereby, i make a promise to myself - that i will definitely cherish him, and never ever let him go. i will hold onto him till eternity. i love him, and thats for sure! =)
[[*.i hartt euu, foreva n eva.*]]
8:37 PM
{your name};
8:37 PM{your name};
Sunday, November 16, 2008
migraine attacks once again, killing me softly. to numb e pain, e crave for cigarettes increases rapidly. and yet e pain has becoming stronger and stronger.. maybe my body is protesting.. telling me to cut down on my sticks.. but its hard, very hard.. cos i felt so stress-free when i smoke.. and totally enjoyed every moments of e process..
things have been going on smoothly.. days passed peacefully even though e disputes at work are overwhelming.. e love for baby is getting stronger and stronger, and can feel that our love is not as fragile as last time anymore.. that's very comforting, cos after all e stuffs i have done, after all e hard work i have put in.. i am finally seeing some visible results..
yesterday went to suntec's food fair with hua and heng.. and e place was so crowded that we can hardly move our feet.. but overall not a wasted trip, cos e tom yum soup there was heavenly! brought some mango salad and oyster spring roll for baby too. went sim lim to look for him den went home with him after that..
baby's so sweet. he offered to give me a massage even though he's dead beat.. pampering and cherishing me like his precious.. truly appreciated everything he has done for me.. i love him so much!
and yes, i feel very loved by him too. :))
[[*.i hartt euu, foreva n eva.*]]7:03 PM
{your name};
7:03 PM{your name};
Sunday, November 9, 2008
sick.
still haven't totally recover from my flu and cough. throat still hurts badly, and i am suffering from migraine. don't know whether is e cause of stress or e cause of hormones change ( as claimed by my colleague). anyway, work's been stressful.. having disputes and commotions here and there yet again.. dun wish to get involved but its hard.. changes of management and policies are driving us nuts too..
but overall, i still feel blessed and loved, by baby of cos. he's just simply awesome, sweet and loving. i felt warmth when he showered me with all his love and sweetness.. i love him, so so much.. and he's so important to me.. and i will cherish him, definitely.
yesterday went over to his place. baby and keong came over to fetch me after work... caught "mirrors" with him last night.. not as scary as what i expected.. but overall, e plot is still not bad.. and most importantly i enjoyed it as i watched it with baby!
everything's great, after e major quarrel. and i hope things will stay this way forever. i want to be with him... thats for sure! =)
[[*.i hartt euu, foreva n eva.*]]5:42 PM
{your name};
5:42 PM{your name};
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
everything seems so unreal for e past few days.. is as if i am living in a whole of illusion, or rather i just don't feel like waking up to face e reality. i lost him, for that period of time, for good. heart wrenching... trying very hard to make things right.. i failed at e moment... discouraged for that few moments, but for e sake of our love, i braced myself up, willing to give it a try yet again..
e day after e major quarrel, he initiated a break up... went over to his place at 6am, sat there in a daze.. holding e packet of breakfast, watching e time goes ticking away.. and finally after e few hours of waiting, i saw him! pushed myself forward to him.. wanna just cling onto him and never let go.. overwhelming with mixed emotions, i started to lose control.. told him my inner feelings, hoping he will come back to my side.. but i failed, totally... he wanted to remain as friends, very gd friends, and thats it..
but one discouragement is not enough to bring me down... yesterday went over to his place again.. at first he seem pissed to see me.. in my heart i was cursing aloud, scolding myself for blowing this chance yet again.. but eventually everything was fine.. he hoaxed me to sleep, cooked for me when he learnt that i was sick.. pampered me like his precious once again.. but i need a definite ans.. i need to know whats e status between us at e moment.. and finally, i got e answer that i wanted! i got him back! and hopefully for good! spent a night over at his place.. and everything was lovey dovey once again...
and i hope i have learnt my lesson this time round.. and i seriously wish that i can change for e better, and be his sweet and caring gf forever.. i am willing to do anything just to be with him, and i was extremely happy to have him back again! i will cherish him, definitely.
and thanks to hua, ting and heng.. thanks for standing by me when i am down.. thanks for encouraging me.. thanks for everything! truly appreciate all e help!
-i am a happy gal once again;-
[[*.i hartt euu, foreva n eva.*]]8:01 PM
{your name};
8:01 PM{your name};
Saturday, November 1, 2008
major quarrel cos of my stupidity yet again... now still hanging on a thread, cos i dunno whether baby has forgiven me not... its e very first time he's so angry... guess he's really pissed off this time round.. i am so sorry yet i cant do anything to turn e whole situation round.. i cant make everything restart... i cant just erase every little bad things that had happened cos of my over sensitivity...
he seems reluctant to talk to me.. but at least he picked up my calls after rejecting so many times.. so what led to this quarrel? simply cos i stumbled to something which i not suppose to see.. and yes... i controlled myself... but not for long... i hate my outburst.. i hate my attitude.. so in all, i hate myself...
maybe he will never ever forgive me anymore.. maybe that's e end of us.. maybe thats it.. but guess what? no matter what happened, i will love him and only him............
[[*.i hartt euu, foreva n eva.*]]9:18 PM
{your name};
9:18 PM{your name};
